On Friendship
07.27.08 (11:48 pm) [edit]Is it ever too late to start over?
There are times in my past when I have been a really crappy friend. Very rarely was I intentionally a bad friend. I've just not been good about keeping up with people. Unfortunately, the people seem to take it personally, because here lately I seem to be on the receiving end of "Forget you!" from several former very close friends. It hurts. It hurts a lot. Perhaps we've grown apart, but I still treasure those good times we spent together. I'd still invite them to my wedding--if I were getting married-- or hope they'd show up to my funeral if I died for some reason. In fact, I would prefer they showed up over the everyday acquaintance type friends from the present. However, right now I doubt any of those people would show up.
To those people in my past with whom I've unknowingly burned a bridge: I'm incredibly sorry to have hurt you.
Some days I wonder if my past transgressions will ever leave me alone.
A few quotes of friendship from quotegarden.com:
One's friends are that part of the human race with which one can be human. ~George Santayana
The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. ~Elisabeth Foley
Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. ~C.S. Lewis
The tender friendships one gives up, on parting, leave their bite on the heart, but also a curious feeling of a treasure somewhere buried. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Southern Mail, 1929
Friends are relatives you make for yourself. ~Eustache Deschamps
Hold on to friends with both hands.~ A Nigerian Proverb
posted by: LadyG (reply)
post date: 07.27.08 (10:18 pm)
I am sorry to hear that they no longer want to be friends, perhaps they will change their mind. maybe send a card or flower or something.
posted by: fractalmom (reply)
post date: 07.28.08 (8:58 am)
as you go through life, your needs as an adult friend are different than your needs as a child friend. some childhood friends make the transformation, most do not. adult friends do not need the everyday continuity that childhood friends do. for instance, my two best friends (of 20+ years) both live within a half hour of me. yet, we only see each other once or twice a year at best. we don't even talk by phone more than once a month or so, on a good month LOL. yet, our friendship has endured and prospered.
adults realize that there are times in your life where you are so busy, or so involved, or so 'something' that the energy required to maintain a close friendship is more than you can muster.
you are just in that transition period between childhood friends and adult friends. it's natural and will pass :)
posted by: barnabus1 (reply)
post date: 07.28.08 (9:58 am)
Ahhhh It's never too late to start over....Today is the first day of the rest of your life!! Like fractualmom says, not all friends are intended to be forever friends!!, some are put into our lives for a season or a reason...something we are to learn from them...or something they are to learn for us, then we go our separate ways...True friends, one only has a few in a lifetime!!
posted by: spook102956 (reply)
post date: 07.28.08 (8:38 pm)
Could you possibly be talking about your old friendships with A, Y, and K? I thought your sticking with L & H when everyone else shunned them might come back to bite you. But I was and still am proud of you for that. You did not choose the popular or easy route. Yes, L hurt A and that was not right. But you were trying to be a witness to L (who needed a friend.
So if this is what you are talking about, don't beat yourself up. Maybe A,Y, and K will come around. If not, I am sorry that they didn't (don't) understand where you were coming from. But you were not a bad friend for that. You just felt the need to support the underdog and forgive someone who did someone else wrong.
posted by: babe4jesus55 (reply)
post date: 07.30.08 (5:02 am)
Reply to: fractalmom
you are so full of wisdom. thanks! :-)
