Seventy Times Seven
03.25.07 (10:58 pm) [edit]I realize I'm rather young to be bitter, but I find myself so: grumbling about past injustices. The bitterness always raises its ugly head when I least suspect it and manages to ruin my day. Nothing can ruin a day more than negativity and the worst sort of negative is bitterness.
Usually I put the bad behind me by learning something from it. For example, every past boyfriend I've had I could tell you exactly what he taught me. When that doesn't work, I try to rationalize the other person's actions. Like say, someone pulled out in front of me almost causing a wreck. I'll say something like, "They probably just weren't paying attention," to myself and go about my merry way. It's when these two methods don't suffice is when the bitterness clouds my mind. I can only think of 3 instances in my life that cause the bitter-monster to rear its head when I dwell upon them.
I've always heard in church that you must forgive people who do you wrong seventy times seven times, not literally of course, but as many times as they spew their injustice. I've learned lately that the meaning isn't that you forgive them for seventy times seven incidents but seventy times seven replayings of the occasion in your head. I've found that in order to truly forgive these people and not have the bitterness take over I have to wake up every morning and forgive them for the pain they would have caused me that day had I allowed the bitterness they created to dwell in my conscious mind.
It's really hard to forgive sometimes. In those 3 instances I mentioned above, those fall in the hard category for me. It just wasn't fair and in at least 2 of those incidents, I myself am one of the culprits. That's who I have the hardest time forgiving: myself. When learning something and rationalizing don't work, I have to just forgive on the notion that Jesus has forgiven me of all my monstrosities including those 2 and for killing Him every time I sin. If the creator of the universe can forgive me, I should forgive myself and others too.
