Bria's Blogie

On Friendship

Is it ever too late to start over?

There are times in my past when I have been a really crappy friend. Very rarely was I intentionally a bad friend. I've just not been good about keeping up with people. Unfortunately, the people seem to take it personally, because here lately I seem to be on the receiving end of "Forget you!" from several former very close friends. It hurts. It hurts a lot. Perhaps we've grown apart, but I still treasure those good times we spent together. I'd still invite them to my wedding--if I were getting married-- or hope they'd show up to my funeral if I died for some reason. In fact, I would prefer they showed up over the everyday acquaintance type friends from the present. However, right now I doubt any of those people would show up.

To those people in my past with whom I've unknowingly burned a bridge: I'm incredibly sorry to have hurt you.

Some days I wonder if my past transgressions will ever leave me alone.

A few quotes of friendship from quotegarden.com:

One's friends are that part of the human race with which one can be human.  ~George Santayana

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.  ~Elisabeth Foley

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.  ~C.S. Lewis

The tender friendships one gives up, on parting, leave their bite on the heart, but also a curious feeling of a treasure somewhere buried.  ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Southern Mail, 1929

Friends are relatives you make for yourself.  ~Eustache Deschamps

Hold on to friends with both hands.~ A Nigerian Proverb

STUPID IRRESPONSIBILITY!!!

If you're looking for sunshine, rainbows and cute fuzzy bunnies, I advise you to look elsewhere for the time being.

I'll start from the beginning.

I am currently in the middle of an internship at a local physical therapy clinic. Part of that internship is a project which should teach the student (me) something and be a help to the cooperating agency (the pt clinic). I've elected to create an exercise poster to be displayed near the pool, so that the former patients who return a few times a week to continue their aquatic exercises will have a visual cue to work with. So I wrote my project proposal, turned it in and was approved to proceed. In the proposal, which I gave to everyone involved, I delineated what I would need from each individual and when.

That was almost two weeks ago and I have made little to no progress since then.

This is why: I need computer created images. The program that creates the images is housed in only a few particular computers on campus and I had no idea how to run the program. I needed my supervising professor to show me how. I put in my proposal when in the project time line I would need to be shown how to work it, which was a week ago. The professor was out all last week and never returned my phone call. I had to call him again. So finally today I got to work with the computer (and I had to cancel my actual work hours to be present this afternoon because the professor is out again through the rest of the week.) I get to the computer and the program hasn't been properly installed by the campus tech people yet, so it is completely useless. The professor tells me to wait until he's back next week so he can call the tech people to come install it. Next week is my last week of internship. I'm supposed to have this poster totally finished and present it to the pt clinic by next Friday.

This is a great example of my BIGGEST pet peeve: when people don't follow through and my goal depends on them.

If I can't get the poster done in the time period specified, I will look bad to the therapists at the clinic. One or more of them may be on my interviewing board for physical therapy school come September.

Days like today make me want to be a hermit. There have been several times today that I have been stopped at a red light and I just let out a huge scream-- the shakes the glass sort. I am that frustrated.

I think I'll try to sleep away some of the frustration for now and then run until I can't breath anymore once the blazing sun goes down. Running does wonders for me when I'm upset.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

STUPID IRRESPONSIBILITY!

8 more days...

8 more days until "Bria's Summer 2008 Musical Icecapade: Hell on Ice" sings it's finale!!!

I will write about it in retrospect at a later date. Perhaps much later.