Bria's Blogie

The Not So Distant (Anymore) Future

It's rather late to be writing not much of anything on a school night, but I need to get everything that's swimming in my head out before I can go to sleep.

In talking with a fellow honors student yesterday, I discovered that I may not have to take the honors capstone course-- my class seems to have somehow slipped through some loop hole-- and that would leave only one, four hour class that I lacked to graduate in August 09. If I could stuff that in next spring-- which would make next spring really tough with tennis and 17 hours, but I did it last spring and survived-- then I could graduate in August and get to PT school on time instead of a whole year late!!! I am so excited and crossing my fingers. There may be one more obstacle, however; I may need six hours of random elective junk-- two upper level courses in some field other than my major, meaning six hours of crap I don't care about. I'm going to talk to my advisor sometime in the coming weeks to figure this all out. I'm crossing my fingers, because I would really like to not put life on hold for stupid capstone or electives.

I came across this possibility while putting together my schedule for next fall. I'll be taking 17 hours in the fall as well. Tough but not impossible. I also learned that I will be taking my last Spanish course in the fall and so complete my minor! The last course isn't a language course either-- it's a history of the language class, really-- so after this semester I am basically done with Spanish! Yeah!!! I am slowly beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

In the midst of all this rejoicing I realized that the semester ends in only five weeks. I am looking forward to that because this semester hasn't been so fun academically, but I tear up at the thought of the end too, because that could mean adios to two dear friends all at once. Daniel and I became friends last spring because the girls' tennis team needed a lot of help last year and Daniel helped me out. We chit chatted over tennis ball rallies and found ourselves with a lot in common and a new friend. Our friendship is of a rare sort. It defies explanation but I treasure it all the same. I hate to see him go, although I know it's his time to go on to bigger and better things and wish him all the luck and hope this world and the next has to offer. Then there's Sarah. She's so much fun and slightly insane, in a mostly good way. She just arrived here in the fall, but we became fast friends and she may transfer  upon the semester's end. Again, if she does go, I will hold the memories we've created together close to heart. That's two that I may not see again for a long while. Then Lisa, another really good friend, is studying abroad next fall. All three keep me company on the tennis team. With all of them gone... I sure hope some sweet freshmen come in, that's all I can hope for at this point. If none do, I suppose I'll live; I wasn't close to anyone on th team my first year and I'm still alive! Thankfully, Lisa will return in the spring and of course I'll have my house-mate, Tink, even though that's just for the fall, and Kassia and Meredith so I won't be totally close friendless.

I'm looking forward to the future whatever it holds, even though I know some close friendships will retreat into memory. Thank goodness for modern technology so we will be able to at least stay in touch! I was thinking, this is probably the first time I've had to say good-bye to more than one really good pal at once, since I didn't have too many friends left after high school and even those that I would have considered friends if I had any went to school in the same town I did, so it wasn't that big of a deal. The only ones I've ever really said good-bye to were Eric G. when I was like 7, Steph at 10 or 11, and Erik I. last summer. But you know, each of those has a special place in my heart, just like the current ones do and always will.

Well, now that I'm sufficiently blubbering, I'm going to go to bed and dream of all my friends. You all know who you are-- even if I didn't just mention you by name-- know that I love and appreciate every single last one of you and treasure every moment and memory we have together!

A Day in the Life

Recall how I said I have a passion for cute undies?

Today I wore pink polka dots... and yellow cotton shorts. Good. Gooooooood. :-p

3 Lives Destroyed in 1 Fatal Night

If you will recall, in October '06 I reported here that three guys that I went to high school with had been in a drunk driving accident, leaving two of them dead and another in jail. Well, the driver was sentenced not this past week but the week before. He plead guilty to two counts of intoxicated manslaughter and was given eight years in prison and a $10,000 fine total.

It has taken me a while to report on this because every time I think about it, tears take over. Two lives were cut horribly short and another ruined because they wanted to have a little fun one night. All of them were decent people and the one that is in prison now was really pretty smart. He was in a few of my AP classes. Now he's going no where because he's got two counts of manslaughter on his record and is currently serving time with hardened criminals, which are bound to rub off on him in the eight years ahead of him.

Please think before drinking and driving. Even just a little can impair your senses. Designate a driver BEFORE you start drinking and if you can don't get drunk either, to make sure the driver doesn't drink.

MY side of the story. Part 4, the last.

Let's just jump right in, shall we?

Those were some of the darkest days of my life. I spent probably a few weeks living in a daze and I don't recall one moment of that time, probably some sort of security reflex.

Once I gathered my wits about me, seeing as how I had no friends or activities to keep my mind busy anymore, I had lots of time to sort through the mess. I found myself being forced to cling the God that stunk of Kenny. So to that end, it was a good thing that I had no friends because I might very well had lost my faith completely at that point if I had had some other option. God seriously was all I had left, or so I felt, so we got to be good buddies.

Eventually I began to reemerge back into society. The first person to run to greet me-- besides my family of course--was yes, you guessed it, Greg. We chit chatted over aim some and so I regained a friend! In our talking over a few weeks I realized how awesome Greg was and yeah, I started falling. Again. I was so scared, you have no idea. I had been away from Kenny for about a month by now and I knew I wasn't ready for another relationship at the moment but I was interested to see where this would go.

Then it happened. The following actually happened over two separate events; however, they are blurred together in my mind. I had told Greg how jealous I was of a girl one of my friends was dating. My friend had gone to her school during lunch on Valentine's and serenaded her. The next weekend Greg brought me to his house and we watched The Notebook and he presented a juxtaposition between our relationship and the one in the Notebook, which I don't recall but I do remember it was very sweet. That was the first time that he did something sweet for me and I wasn't completely repulsed.

Then he drove us out to a country road, pulled off the road and hopped out of the truck. He went around to the passenger side, opened the door, pressed play on the cd player and proceeded to sing "Let Me Love You" by Mario to me by moonlight. (The song is on the play list on the right side bar if you want to hear it.) It was beautiful and so appropriate. When the song was over and I was sufficiently freaking out, he got back into the truck and explained to me that I was the one he wanted to fight for, (He had been reading Wild at Heart by John Eldredge, which is where that idea comes from.) and asked me again to be his girlfriend.

I recall sighing a huge sigh and was about to utter something about my promise to not date, (I believe I left out the part about Kenny that we never "dated" per say; we "courted". Let's not get into the difference.) when a huge sense of peace descended upon me. It was so powerful it literally took my breath away for a few blessed moments. At that time I knew that I was exactly where I was supposed to be, that I had come to the end of a long journey and saying yes to Greg was my home coming. I can't explain it except in those words. There is no where such a peace could have come from except from above. I truly believe that I will experience such peace again only when I get to heaven. I took a moment to question God, making sure I wasn't crazy and then gave Greg a very tentative yes. I don't really recall his reaction. I think he gave me a big hug. Then as we went to pull off the side of the road we realized that we were stuck in the mud from the recent rain. We had our first good laugh as a couple at this and flagged down a helpful stranger with a tow cable to help us out. When Greg dropped me off at my house as I was walking away from his truck he shouted, "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! !" inside his truck and then when I turned around to look at him in shock, he rolled down the window and said something like "You heard that, didn't you?"

A fairy tale ending indeed. I must say that I had little to no confidence that we'd work for probably the first six months. I had just come out of a rocky relationship and I still didn't feel ready for another relationship, but who was I to argue with my Creator? Come to find out later, Greg had decided that this was going to be his last ditch effort at getting me. I still wonder at God's timing in this, but I know He's got a big plan up His sleeve that I will never understand. The more time I spend with Greg though the more I realize that God must have made us for each other because we're just so... I don't know. Right.

Love you, Greg.

MY side of the story. Part 3, laid to rest

I began this series in an effort to relay a story as a gift to Greg for our three year anniversary. That has come and gone, so I am no longer working with that deadline, hence why there is such a long span between entries. I do need to write one last time the topic of the last two entries though, just to tie up some loose ends that have occurred this week in response to that last entry.

No one has personally come up to me and said a word about this, which I am thankful for. I really have not written this with the purpose of throwing a pity party for myself. 

After writing that long pent up emotion out last week I have felt strangely light. I must have gotten comfortable with that heaviness weighing me down because for the first few days I was wondering if I was sick. When no sickness came I realized it had to be the result of the writing. I haven't felt so free in ages. I find myself smiling more and more able to look others in the eye again too.

Then Thursday night my worst nightmare came true. I was about to climb into bed when my cell phone rang with a text message. It was Kenny. He had indeed read the blog. He texted to say that he was truly sorry for what he had done. He also said he did not agree entirely with what I had to say but that he learned a lot by reading about himself through another.

So all in all, this part of my series has been very beneficial for myself and at least one other so I deem that it was good. Next entry I WILL continue on with the story. I promise.