poetry
02.28.05 (4:18 pm) [edit]i love poetry. not just writing poems myself, but also reading them. especially when they're about me. ok, ok, i'm not THAT concieted, but really, it is nice to know you're thought of. the reason i bring up poetry, is because my own book of poetry is sitting in front of me, and i was reading through it a moment ago; laughing at long forgotten jokes; frowning at sorrows i thought i had forgotten. then some of them, just shaking my head, and asking myself, "what WAS i thinking?!" then i came upon the few poems that others have written for me-i keep them to mark the spot where my poetry ends, and the next blank page resides, ready to absorb my thoughts, hopes, dreams, and ideas. i unfolded the pages...a few now a bit yellowed, and couldn't help but sigh out loud over lost loves. one of my soph. year boyfriends, jeffrey, holds the record for poems-4 of them i have, but i think he wrote more, then the one kenny wrote. anyway, back to the unfolding... the pages crinkled as i unfolded those creases that are so used to holding the pages flat in my book. i read the first one; it was soo good, and sweet...even rhymed! that takes talent; i hardly EVER rhyme anything in my poems. as i read more of the poems, jeffrey's voice started echoing in my head, which is quite odd, since i haven't spoken to him in person in probably a year or so. the last one i didn't read, because i got tired of hearing that voice in my head...lol, i hear voices. :wink: i started to read kenny's but couldn't even make it through the first stanza; it had him written all over it, and his voice was just too fresh, no doubt. the poem was meaning to be sweet, but not making a whole lot of sense due to disorganization. *shakes head* that kid never was a great academic mind, but hey, he tried. i folded the pages back up, and stuffed them a lil harshly back between a poem in my book about reading stories on the story time mat in pre-school, and a blank page. i stared at the blank page for a while, pondering what might soon call that page home. i gently let the pages fall as a whirl wind of my own words spilled off the pages, reminding me again of all the laughs, sorrow, and craziness that fill them. i can't help but smile at my fatal attempts at art. they make me smile anyway, although i do hope one day, if not currently, someone, somewhere has been/will be blessed by my poetry.
smiles across barriers
02.27.05 (12:05 am) [edit]i went to a lil get together with the people i do Bible study with, plus some this evening. we had pizza, then we got out our buckets, and wash board, spoons, etc. and sang, except this time we had local celebrities singing. wowzers...let me say, wow. i have never heard so much musical talent in one room before. there were the pastor, his wife, and son, the famous bar-b-que'er there too, harold, and of course, our favorite liberian refugees. the pastor, his wife, and son i hear on sundays occasionally. their voices are equal to chocolate... beautiful, sweet, melt in your mouth goodness. lol. but really, they're awesome, i've just heard them several times, the others are new to me. harold, the bar-b-que'er belts out those old timey hymns in that way only an african american can-correctly at least-... beautiful, astounding, amazing...i'm out of adjectives that would create a complete image. then there were our friends, the refugees. we heard their testimony-first time, for me- about the school they started back in africa, and how it grew from 6 kids when the mother started it, to over 300 currently, and how God has provided them with every need through kind people. see, those few dollars you give to feed those lil children, and send them school actually to go to the kids. they also described the war the ran from in liberia, and how this is the first time their children have known peace. after their testimony, they put in a lil tape of music, and sang us a worship song they sang back home. the song was so spunky, and had great lyrics, and rhythm. they sang...they sang loud and didn't give a care in the world how they sounded, or what language they were speaking-the song was in english, and something else...don't know if it was french, or their native dialect- as long as they were praising God. they even danced! their lil boy was jumping around and even fell on the ground he was dancin so. now, that's what i call praisin God! but one thing i did realize this evening, while each of the three "acts" were "preforming", and the rest of us sitting around, listening, and joining in on what we knew, we all smiled. we all smiled as we praised God. a smile transends language, culture, style, age, and whatever other barrier you can think of. put on a smile today; it speaks/sings/dances volumes.
blogging diploma
02.26.05 (12:15 am) [edit]look guys! forget college; i'm set for life! ;-)
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Blogging Degree
From Go-Quiz.com
what if, what if, what if
02.19.05 (6:15 pm) [edit]hello all! guess where i spent almost my eNtIrE day... at school...learning!! ok ok, it was umpire school. so yes, i am now a certified usta roving official, umpire, and also became certified this afternoon in intercollegiate tennis. :D i'm just too cool. i was in the same room, with the same ancient refs for seven hours... AKKKKKK!!! it wouldn't have been so bad , bur for mary. geeeeeez! that lady over analyzed eVeRyThInG. we'd go over a rule, or a situation, and her hand would go up. "what, mary?" the instructor would question exasperatedly. then mary would proceed with her, "well, what if..." secenario, and it'd be soooo deep into the rules, that even "the ancient ones" wouldn't know the answers off hand, so we'd have to go digging through our friend at court-the tennis rules book. looking up all those rules, and then explaining what we found to her several times after she comes up with more, "what ifs" was to say the least, boring, exasperating, and quite entertaining at times too. i was thinking after school was out, it was a good thing mary was there to bug and pester us all; some players try to weasle their way out of a penalty, or into a point/game/set they don't deserve, and they tend to be crafty as a fox, so if mary didn't put up those "what if's" we'd all be in the dog house and look stupid when we made an incorrect call. thanks, mary!
speaking of incorrect calls, i made one myself :embarassed: at the tournie i officialed last weekend, i ruled that after i corrected a call, the point was not to be replayed. i was wrong; the point should have been replayed...sorry guys; where ever you are!
alcoholic birds
02.17.05 (6:25 pm) [edit]it's that time again...drunk bird season. some of the bushes at school have berries on them, and supposedly they are currently fermenting (according to the office secretary). so the lil birdies eat the alcoholic berries, and get a lil tipsy. so, here lately at school every now and then, there will be a loud thud against a window, and a puff of feathers goes up outside, but usually the lil birdie flys away, i would imagine with a laugh, a rediculous smile, and probably a worse hang over than normal in the morning. anyway, beware of the drunk birds...they might land on you, on the account they figure you're a mobile tree.
pjs!
02.15.05 (6:07 am) [edit]i keep forgetting to mention that wearing you pjs for 2 days straight-even to school-is completely awesome! ok, i'm out, but really, for something with a little more meaning look at the next 2 posts,... they're rather recent, and aren't totally rediculous.
praise the Lord!
02.14.05 (10:08 pm) [edit]God has a funny way of working; therefore, i believe He must have a sense of humor. God has taken my voice. i was out in a cold rain friday, and saturday refing a tennis tournament. at 5 on saturday afternoon my throat was so rough, it hurt to speak. so i asked to be released to go home. i got some c-rap for that one. all the old refs were like, "no, i'm going to be the first one to go home." i think the only reason my boss let me go was because my voice was already starting to go, and in order to ref, a loud, booming voice-kinda like God's...hmm had never thought of that- is needed. (hehe, goddess of the tennis court. *evil laugh* *cough* i mean... 0:-) ) so my voice continued to deteriorate over the next few hours until i woke up on sunday with nothing left but a squeak. .... just great. if you know me, you know i am a loud person, and there is no way a squeak can be loud...just annoying. it's pretty sad when your own voice annoys you. *shakes head* anyway, i was scheduled to sing today at school...well, not just me, but my fellow students with me, but still in the spotlight none the less. so here i come skipping to school to sing with my a tiny bit better squeak or boom; i now had the option of super high, or super low. joy. guess what... it worked out great! the group i was with was short on guys, so i got to be a guy voice for the day. :D i had been meaning to work on my higher, and lower voice to stretch my voice reach anyway, so now it was forced upon me. maybe God's sayin something...
you can praise God in anyway you can think of-with a tiny squeak, or a scary boom... or even with an egg beater. ok, ok, just wait a second. i had Bible study tonight, and since we don't have actual muscial talent, save the old mistress of the piano, and the young sing-whatever-she-can-mat ch, we pulled out all those instruments that don't take much talent...or at least not to sound like a bunch of noise with beat. :D we had a washboard, a mop bucket drum, two pairs of spoons, a bucket lid cymbal, my old egg beater spining, while another held a spoon to the blades to make a louder noise, plus the piano, and our untrained voices. wow. let's just say we made a joyful noise...it was joyful...and it certainly was noise, but it was worship all the same. i don't know about the rest of the group, but i felt God's presence there. i think God at least got a good laugh. lol, i sure did. God bless ya'll real good now, ya hear? ;-)
Saint Valentine's Day's serenade
02.14.05 (3:58 pm) [edit]i was so blessed today to witness the most romantic act of love eVeR! nhs was at mr. gatti's pizza after we had valentine show time today-we break up into groups, and sing silly love songs to the whole school while dressed in red, pink, and anything rediculous. we were all sitting in the cartoon room, chillin, watchin tom and jerry when this group of normally dressed people walk in. it was the choir from one of the other high schools in town, with steve's girlfriend leading the pack. she tugged steve into a chair, requested he sit, then she sat on his lap and sang a beautiful song to him, with her choir pals backing her up. you could really see the love in her eyes. you could see the emotion in my friends' eyes easily enough-they were crying due to the cuteness factor. that girl really can sing. then she pulled out a rose for steve from amongst the choir. when the song was over, they had a lovely kiss. it really was much better in person, promise, but still, it was sooo cute! *sigh* at that moment, and remembering that moment, i felt quite alone in the world. but alas, someone, somewhere will love me, i just gotta be patient for him. so in comemoration of saint valentine's day, i've renewed my vow to myself and God to not date. i heard a great quote about dating today on an old chick flick called shag, "dating is just legal prostitution." i'll leave you with that one. as rick always says, "think about it." lol. God bless!
demon possessed?
02.09.05 (7:45 pm) [edit]i'm sure you're all tired of hearing me cry about kenny, but my mom brought up a good point. maybe he's possessed. no like really; the lil demon dude with horns taking over my best bud. ok, maybe not the horns. i know that sounds totally out of this world, cause it is, but it makes sense. how else would you explain a person changing from sweet, shy, God lovin/fearin to rude, turse, violent, and hurtful to everyone and everything. i promise i'm not making this up or exagerating. his bad attitude has recently cost him his job; he speaks to absolutely no one on more intimate terms than weather talk; when i ask him how he is, his answer is always a short, "fine" and nothing more; never smiles; cutting back on church attendance as rapidly as possible; only extracirriculat activities include downloading God trashin music, scheming how to destroy people or their property, and sleeping; attacks me and my faith. he HAS to be possessed. i called it like a month ago right here on tblog, but i didn't even listen to myself. now i understand why he quit "us"; God is love, so one without God (since God cannot be in the presence of pure evil like a demon would be) would not be capable of loving. i guess i didn't take my conviction seriously because i've only come in contact with one person that has been possessed in my life, and that was like 3 years ago. that was a real eye opener; poor girl dropped to the ground like a bag of potatoes during prayer at praise in the park writhering, convulsing, and screaming. i was dumbfounded cause i was standing right next to her, but a lady came over and started speaking tounges over her. the lady went into sometimes english too, so i understood she was commanding the demon out. i just stood there and starred. once i finally got over the shock i mumbled a prayer for her, and the lady since that was all i knew to do. anyway, so kenny's possessed. now what? well, like i said earlier, evil can't remain in the presence of God, and God is love, so i figure i have to love that demon right out of kenny. dang. do you have any idea how hard it is to be kind to someone that is so exhaustingly rude, much less love to death! i think it's time to call out God's army on this one! our brother needs our help to get through this one, since satan has blocked out the light, so he can't see how he's hurting himself. so smother that demon with prayer's of kenny's deliverance if you will, and those that are around kenny, please help me smother him with love, no matter how he objects. may God bless you and your faithfulness!
d'now report
02.06.05 (8:46 pm) [edit]hey all! i've just returned from d'now aka disiple now- weekend retreat with youth. i feel quite re-energized as a Christian. i'm really glad i went. the lessons weren't just stratching the surface, like just about all the other lessons i am taught throughout the week, but really dug deep. i got alot of much needed praying done, and alerted some of kenny's friends as to his situation (althought i kept most of the problem, as that is not mine to tell), or my fears of his situtation, since he doesn't talk, to me, or doug, our youth minister, or anyone else for that matter. poor lonely soul. all he does is go to school, work, sleep, and download music these days. but he's fine with that...he's always been a bit of a loner anyway, but now he has a cruddy attitude to go with it. he's not even pleasent to be with anymore. always attacking you, and then plays if off as sarcasm, but it really cuts deep. i think he's just trying to drive everyone away, so we'll just stop asking him about his personal life, because we know he needs help, but won't let anyone in to help. anyway, i cried a bucket full of tears for him this weekend. i feel a little better, but i still worry for him. i'm tearin up just typin about it. :'-( i was watching extreme homemaker today, and the family on there had just lost their husband/dad. and i noted that i grieve for kenny like he's dead, in comparison with the lady on tv. it kinda is like he's dead though. well, the kenny i know and still love is anyway. the sweet, kind kenny doesn't exist in the physical kenny i know. not anymore. dang, i miss him so much. ok, now i am crying. shoot. better dry up before someone walks over and asks what's up. how am i supposed to explain to my family i'm in love with a dead guy? oh well, my mom will probably read this anyway. she claims i don't tell her anything. well, come to think of it, she's right, but that's because she never supports me in anything, or any decision i make. would you talk to someone like that? i didn't think so. maybe that's the key to kenny. just support the good he does tell me. but then again, i tried that, and he said i was treating him like a dog, praising him for acheivments. geez, this was supposed to be about d'now. well, it is, cause that's what's been tumbling through my head all weekend. well, and karl too. he's a new buddy of mine. he's agnostic, but no, i'm not real worried about that right now. (i know, i'm a horrible Christian, but i think what i'm about to say is step one.) he just moved here from san deigo. ya, HUGE let down. so basically, he's been real depressed, and has done his best to drive everyone away and not make any friends. he even plays back memories in his head when he spaces out. real sad. anyway, i think all he really needs right now is a friend, and to get out of the house now and then. but he's gonna require a whole bushel of patience, cause he's kinda like kenny in the attitude department...not real pleasant to be around. i think if i can get under that prickly pear exterior, he'll turn out fine. i think there might be a lovely gentleman under those thorns somewhere. anyway, i did alot of prayin for him this weekend, didn't cry over him, of course. i'm not a huge boo-hooer unless it just slices me to the core, and losin kenny has.
anyway, i'll share one point made in one of the lessons. God doesn't make losers. you see, before you were born, your mama, and daddy held a swim meet in your honor. millons of contestants, big prize-winner got to live-, and you won! *giggle* we all thought that was hilarious, so we've all been like, "i won!" all weekend. but that's so true. lol.
that's the meat, but the fun stuff is that i stayed with a gaggle of gals about my age at a church member's house out in the boonies. we had "services" which included a lesson of course, worship music with the jeff berry band, and an illusionist, jared hall with youth groups from all over the area. then we had rec. aka recreation too. we played a whole bunch of really messy games. in one game, the guys had to pretend that they were getting ready for a date. they used peanut butter as their "deodorant" and jelly as "hair gel" but then supposedly they got hungry and had to make a pbj with what they were wearing as deodorant and hair gel, and eat it. ick! we girls in return dug with our wet faces in a pan of flour-the cat box- for a piece of bubble gum, and blow a bubble. not as icky, but not fun, then we all had to create "yummy sundaes"- drop sundae ingrediants into a team member's mouth and the best looking won. ours totally should have won, cause it was the best...perfect.lol, i really need to stop using that word. we did some more stuff too, but that was the most exciting. i didn't win diddly though. :-( oh well. but hey, i still won! ;-) later guys. God bless!
scandolous presedential barbie
02.03.05 (9:05 pm) [edit]this made me giggle. *hehe*
"Barbie became a candidate for President in 1992. She categorically denies that she ever had sexual relations with that man, Ken."-adiosbarbie.com
have a nice day! :D God bless
its raining men...again
02.01.05 (9:59 pm) [edit]guess what? its raining men, again! as i've said before, 1) i don't date, 2) i have a problem getting guys to understand that fact. so, here i am again, with 1 renewed affectionist, and 1 new. grrr!!! *smashes head on keyboard repeatedly* WHY CAN'T YOU ALL JUST GIVE IT UP?! all i really want are some friends... and not ones that are sorta friends, and sorta more. just plain jane friends. shesh...i really need some single female friends...i think that's part of the problem, and my gal pals have their boyfriends to hang out with all the time, and never call up ol' bria. so instead, i make guy friends...but they don't wanna be friends. grrrrrrrrrr!!!! the old guy, i've known since we were knee high to a grass hopper; the old friend that tried to catch in middle school, but never did. i love him to death-as a best buddy- but dude, you're not going to get me, so forget it! move on...again. lol. the new guy, i've known him practically my entire life to-from church-, and out of the blue asks his grandma who asks my grandma(don't you love those chains?) if i had a boyfriend, cause i'm purty. (the only time i make an effort to look nice is on sundays for chruch) ok, normally i'd at least go, aww, that's sweet, but i've rarely exchanged more than weather talk with the guy, so all he's basing his affection on are, again, my looks. what am i supposed to do to stop the madness?! wear a burlap sack, a paper bag over my head, and never speak again?! *fumes* ok, i'm out. God bless you all!
oh, p.s.- did ya notice my new lil button over there on the right? "love your body through think and thin" great button, funny name for a site, not such a great site though. *shrugs* except for the "feed the model" game; that's hilarious! i think i might put a link to that game on my site.
